Tracie: "How was the movie?"
John: "It was great! It was the true story of the Loch Ness Monster. My favorite part was when the boy rode the monster down under and up out of the water. It was awesome!"
(I'm pretty sure he was joking. Pretty sure. Sometimes you never know though)
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Girls Night
It's "Girls Night."
It goes something like this: Nick heads to Jacksons to do whatever 15 year olds do when the get together. Daddy takes Tay and Isabelle out to Dunn Bros for hot chocolate and to the Dollar Theatre to see The Water Horse. That leaves one tiny girl and her mommy home for "Girls Night."
"Girls Night" goes like this: One Bubble Bath, Lots of Lotion, Jammies, pop open a bottle of the Good Stuff! (you weren't worried were you?) , and snuggle in for some quality lovin'.
Here are some shots of "Me and My Girl!"
She melts my heart.
It goes something like this: Nick heads to Jacksons to do whatever 15 year olds do when the get together. Daddy takes Tay and Isabelle out to Dunn Bros for hot chocolate and to the Dollar Theatre to see The Water Horse. That leaves one tiny girl and her mommy home for "Girls Night."
"Girls Night" goes like this: One Bubble Bath, Lots of Lotion, Jammies, pop open a bottle of the Good Stuff! (you weren't worried were you?) , and snuggle in for some quality lovin'.
Here are some shots of "Me and My Girl!"
She melts my heart.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Stuff We Do: Part 6
I started writing some time ago a few posts to give you a glimpse into the "Stuff We Do" here at IHOP. One of the things I do is work in the Children's Equipping Center with my primary focus as Assistant Director of the 6-12 year old Sunday morning services.
I've been working since January on curriculum writing. I wrote a series for the month of January on "The Cross", and Feb and March and part of April I am writing a series on "The Sermon on the Mount." It's good for my heart to be studying and writing, and it is extra beneficial to be taking the notes of awesome IHOP teachers and other commentaries and books and trying to work them into language that will impact the hearts of 6-12 year olds.
I've been working since January on curriculum writing. I wrote a series for the month of January on "The Cross", and Feb and March and part of April I am writing a series on "The Sermon on the Mount." It's good for my heart to be studying and writing, and it is extra beneficial to be taking the notes of awesome IHOP teachers and other commentaries and books and trying to work them into language that will impact the hearts of 6-12 year olds.
Monday, February 25, 2008
New Family Pics
All photos compliments of Nick Loux.
Nick is taking a photography class from Shelley Paulson and is working hard at learning how to use the manual settings on my point and shoot camera and shoot using available light.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Remember that Weekend?
It was 2/19/06. I was home schooling my kids and had an email pop up that took my breath away. The title of the email was just one word "Match". Because the email was from Amy Young, our adoption consultant, I clicked it open before I could even breath.
We had been matched with a birth mom.
It's hard to believe it's been a year since that wild day. And this weekend we celebrated by hosting an adoption seminar here in Kansas City, where Amy and Malcolm Young did a fantastic job of educating about 50 people on the adoption process. Randy and Kelsey shared their adoption story, along with John and I. I am blown away by what God is doing and how He is opening hearts, homes, and finances for the purpose of adoption.
I am currently working with 5 amazing couples as they pursue adoption. We're getting closer and closer to the day that each of them will get that email or phone call saying "You've been matched."
They are matches for the kingdom. I'd say "matches made in heaven", but you'd all roll your eyes at that corny little phrase so I won't say that! But for real, I believe that they will all be divine matches, spoken with one Word and ordained before time began.
So 2/22 was the day we joined Randy and Kelsey and met Malcolm and Amy Young for the first time face to face after knowing them for over a year. I am nearly certain that we will all look back and say, "2/22, remember that day! Wow, look at all God has done since that divine appointment." 2/22 was another day for a great MATCH!
We had been matched with a birth mom.
It's hard to believe it's been a year since that wild day. And this weekend we celebrated by hosting an adoption seminar here in Kansas City, where Amy and Malcolm Young did a fantastic job of educating about 50 people on the adoption process. Randy and Kelsey shared their adoption story, along with John and I. I am blown away by what God is doing and how He is opening hearts, homes, and finances for the purpose of adoption.
I am currently working with 5 amazing couples as they pursue adoption. We're getting closer and closer to the day that each of them will get that email or phone call saying "You've been matched."
They are matches for the kingdom. I'd say "matches made in heaven", but you'd all roll your eyes at that corny little phrase so I won't say that! But for real, I believe that they will all be divine matches, spoken with one Word and ordained before time began.
So 2/22 was the day we joined Randy and Kelsey and met Malcolm and Amy Young for the first time face to face after knowing them for over a year. I am nearly certain that we will all look back and say, "2/22, remember that day! Wow, look at all God has done since that divine appointment." 2/22 was another day for a great MATCH!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
I'm Up at 1:43AM and Waiting for My Next Dose of Cough Medicine to Kick In
I can't lay my head back down until it does or I might just break a rib from coughing.
But here's what's on my heart. Tomorrow about 50 people, maybe more, are going to gather together to hear about adoption at the seminar we're hosting here in Kansas City. Last night, I had the honor of eating dinner with Amy and Malcolm Young and Randy and Kelsey Bohlender. Both of our families have adopted through Christian Adoption Consultants, but had never met Amy and Malcolm face to face.
Some evenings are nice, some are even great, but last night was one of those mile post events in my life. I am quite certain that one day we will look back and say "Remember that night." All I know is God put His finger on my heart and said "Yes, this is where I want you."
In the past few years Amy and Malcolm have been instrumental in helping over 100 adoptions. That's 100 babies that have been given LIFE in Christian homes across America. I am believing for God to pour out His blessings on them as they continue to serve Him with all of their hearts. They are indeed a gift to my life. I am blown away that God has done His enormous "dot to dot" and connected us together as part of His plan. I'm believing for Him to continue to connect the dots as He knits families, ministries, and financiers together for the sake of LIFE.
Tomorrow as these couples come to hear about adoption, I am believing that many will have their hearts stirred and encouraged as they consider embarking on the amazing journey called "ADOPTION". I have lots more to share on this, but will wait for a late time as that lovely nighttime cold medicine has begun to kick in.
But here's what's on my heart. Tomorrow about 50 people, maybe more, are going to gather together to hear about adoption at the seminar we're hosting here in Kansas City. Last night, I had the honor of eating dinner with Amy and Malcolm Young and Randy and Kelsey Bohlender. Both of our families have adopted through Christian Adoption Consultants, but had never met Amy and Malcolm face to face.
Some evenings are nice, some are even great, but last night was one of those mile post events in my life. I am quite certain that one day we will look back and say "Remember that night." All I know is God put His finger on my heart and said "Yes, this is where I want you."
In the past few years Amy and Malcolm have been instrumental in helping over 100 adoptions. That's 100 babies that have been given LIFE in Christian homes across America. I am believing for God to pour out His blessings on them as they continue to serve Him with all of their hearts. They are indeed a gift to my life. I am blown away that God has done His enormous "dot to dot" and connected us together as part of His plan. I'm believing for Him to continue to connect the dots as He knits families, ministries, and financiers together for the sake of LIFE.
Tomorrow as these couples come to hear about adoption, I am believing that many will have their hearts stirred and encouraged as they consider embarking on the amazing journey called "ADOPTION". I have lots more to share on this, but will wait for a late time as that lovely nighttime cold medicine has begun to kick in.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
When Mom Gets Sick
My kids are voluntarily cleaning out their closets. I'm going to stay here in bed as long as possible, and be really quiet before they realize that they are doing chores they haven't been asked to do. For some reason, they think it's fun. Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Don't tell them they're working.
I can think of a few other things that need to be done.
1. The garage needs to be cleaned.
2. Shoot the whole house looks like mom just quit. (oh that's right I did!)
3. Their are about 8 loads of laundry to be done (and 4 or 5 waiting to be folded)
4. My tax documents needed to be gathered
5. The checkbook needs to be balanced.
Do you think I can trick them into thinking any of that is actually fun too!
I can think of a few other things that need to be done.
1. The garage needs to be cleaned.
2. Shoot the whole house looks like mom just quit. (oh that's right I did!)
3. Their are about 8 loads of laundry to be done (and 4 or 5 waiting to be folded)
4. My tax documents needed to be gathered
5. The checkbook needs to be balanced.
Do you think I can trick them into thinking any of that is actually fun too!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I Turned on the TV
We get about 2 channels, which we hardly ever watch. I turned it on this morning hoping I could watch the news, but mostly because I couldn't do anything else.
This is what I learned:
1. Drew Carey hosts the Price is Right. When did that happen? Can he really be happy with his life? I was just wondering.
2. Talk shows should be illegal. I wonder if the people who write the shows and think of the topics can really sleep at night.
3. Judge Joe Brown doesn't take much lip from anyone.
I turned the TV off. No wonder we don't pay for cable.
This is what I learned:
1. Drew Carey hosts the Price is Right. When did that happen? Can he really be happy with his life? I was just wondering.
2. Talk shows should be illegal. I wonder if the people who write the shows and think of the topics can really sleep at night.
3. Judge Joe Brown doesn't take much lip from anyone.
I turned the TV off. No wonder we don't pay for cable.
My Temporary Disfunction is His Reality Apparently
This morning after John took the three oldest to school, we decided to move all essentials up to the "boys pad", simply because there are beds and it's a fairly easy place for Elia to roam and fo us to be able to keep track of her without having to move much.
I went downstairs, got to the bottom feeling weak and jello-legged and sort of stopped and grabbed the couch. John said, "What are you doing? What do you need?"
I said, "I can't remember why I came down here. I came to get something but I can't remember what."
He said, "Hmm, now you know how I live my life!"
I went downstairs, got to the bottom feeling weak and jello-legged and sort of stopped and grabbed the couch. John said, "What are you doing? What do you need?"
I said, "I can't remember why I came down here. I came to get something but I can't remember what."
He said, "Hmm, now you know how I live my life!"
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
I Thought I Was Immune
After being around sick kids for 9 days, I thought I had escaped this time.
I have not.
I have not.
WOW! Baby Martin is here!
Friends of ours Eric and Regina who we met several years ago at the House of Prayer in Lancaster, PA have a son! I am so excited for them!
Adoption Fundraiser
My friends through adoption, The Phillips family are adopting from China.
Look at this wonderful fundraiser a friend is helping them with!
Click on the link and order through PayPal! If you're looking for a wonderful baby gift here's a great place to start! (100% of your giving will go toward their adoption)
Monday, February 18, 2008
My First Attempt at Posting a Video Clip
This is Elia jamming out with Nicks iPod and enormous ear phones!
Take careful note of the toes!
The Boys Room Finished
BEFORE:
AFTER:
We still need to give the couch and their dressers a make over and get somethings to organize their space a bit, but the walls are DONE! Unless you're looking very closely and can see the bit of white above the window that I somehow missed. I promise to touch it up before I forget it's there!
AFTER:
We still need to give the couch and their dressers a make over and get somethings to organize their space a bit, but the walls are DONE! Unless you're looking very closely and can see the bit of white above the window that I somehow missed. I promise to touch it up before I forget it's there!
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Quick Update on the Kids
1. Isabelle has had her first day with no fever since last Sunday! Yeah!!! (She had a great nap today, and did a bit of school work. I expect she'll feel well enough to go to school tomorrow)
2. Nick is still running a low grade fever and has a horrible cough and sore throat, but seems on the mend. We'll see about school after we see how he sleeps.
3. Elia's nose is running like a freight train, but she is fairly happy. She had two good naps today after a horrible night sleep. Praying she sleeps better today!
4. Taylor has remained flu-free! Thank you Jesus!
Thanks for all of your prayers.
2. Nick is still running a low grade fever and has a horrible cough and sore throat, but seems on the mend. We'll see about school after we see how he sleeps.
3. Elia's nose is running like a freight train, but she is fairly happy. She had two good naps today after a horrible night sleep. Praying she sleeps better today!
4. Taylor has remained flu-free! Thank you Jesus!
Thanks for all of your prayers.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Love Songs
Our 9PM bedtime was came to an abrupt hault shortly after we put Elia down to bed. We put her down in the pack in play in our room just so she'd be close if she needed us in the night. Little did we know that time would come about 10 minutes after putting her down.
The poor dear screamed in pain for what seemed like hours, but was probably only about 30 minutes. Her tiny throat sounded so sore, but I couldn't convince her that crying was only making it hurt more. Babies are funny that way.
Finally, I whipped out the old stand by and began singing. I don't know how many of you are blessed to have a lullaby passed down from generations past, but I have one. I remember my Nana and my dad (her son) singing it to me. I sang it to Nick, Taylor and Isabelle, and then it disappeared for a number of years, only to be pulled out again about 11 months ago.
So last night, I pinned one screaming Elia to my chest and began to sing:
"In the temple, in the temple stood a little boy one day
And the doctors wondered greatly at the things they heard him say
It was Jesus, it was Jesus
He was but a little child
And the light of heaven was shining
On his face so pure and mild"
Then I go into this little one:
"Close your little eyes and go to sleep
Close your little eyes and go to sleep
You are mommas precious baby girl
So close your little eyes and go to sleep"
Repeated many times over! But last night I think by the third phrase she sunk into me and gave up the crying. John came out, looked at her and smiled. I don't know why that little song works, it just does. I think it simply represents generations of love. I think secretly the older three are glad the songs have been pulled out again for Elia Jane. Often times when I'm singing to her they end up curled up on the end of the bed looking kind of dreamy eyed.
I loved my Nana. She passed away when I was in 5th grade. She was soft and she smelled good.
I love my Dad. He's an amazing father and grandfather. He's soft and he smells good too.
The poor dear screamed in pain for what seemed like hours, but was probably only about 30 minutes. Her tiny throat sounded so sore, but I couldn't convince her that crying was only making it hurt more. Babies are funny that way.
Finally, I whipped out the old stand by and began singing. I don't know how many of you are blessed to have a lullaby passed down from generations past, but I have one. I remember my Nana and my dad (her son) singing it to me. I sang it to Nick, Taylor and Isabelle, and then it disappeared for a number of years, only to be pulled out again about 11 months ago.
So last night, I pinned one screaming Elia to my chest and began to sing:
"In the temple, in the temple stood a little boy one day
And the doctors wondered greatly at the things they heard him say
It was Jesus, it was Jesus
He was but a little child
And the light of heaven was shining
On his face so pure and mild"
Then I go into this little one:
"Close your little eyes and go to sleep
Close your little eyes and go to sleep
You are mommas precious baby girl
So close your little eyes and go to sleep"
Repeated many times over! But last night I think by the third phrase she sunk into me and gave up the crying. John came out, looked at her and smiled. I don't know why that little song works, it just does. I think it simply represents generations of love. I think secretly the older three are glad the songs have been pulled out again for Elia Jane. Often times when I'm singing to her they end up curled up on the end of the bed looking kind of dreamy eyed.
I loved my Nana. She passed away when I was in 5th grade. She was soft and she smelled good.
I love my Dad. He's an amazing father and grandfather. He's soft and he smells good too.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
3/4 of the Children in this House have the Flu
And since one of the three is a tiny girl, not much else is getting done.
Our valentines dinner was served to those up to eating it on the couch.
I cooked one handed with a feverish baby on my hip while John tended to the others.
It's looking like our date will wait til next weekend.
Off to bed we all go at 9PM. It's been a very long day!
Our valentines dinner was served to those up to eating it on the couch.
I cooked one handed with a feverish baby on my hip while John tended to the others.
It's looking like our date will wait til next weekend.
Off to bed we all go at 9PM. It's been a very long day!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
My Husband Makes Me Laugh
Tonight John posted on his blog and then commented, "158 people read my blog this week."
I said "Wow, that's cool"
He said, "How many people read your blog in a week."
I said, "I don't know, I'll check....." short pause "716."
He said, "Are you kidding? Man, you could start a church!"
See, what I mean, he totally makes me laugh!
I said "Wow, that's cool"
He said, "How many people read your blog in a week."
I said, "I don't know, I'll check....." short pause "716."
He said, "Are you kidding? Man, you could start a church!"
See, what I mean, he totally makes me laugh!
Valentines Day with the Loux Family
I love Valentine's Day. I think the reason I love it so much is that my mom made it so special when we were kids. I remember Valentine's Day being more of a "family event" than a "mom and dad" event. I know my parents always celebrated their love for each other, but mom always made Valentine's Day a day to celebrate their love for us too!
I remember things like the table decorations (my mom is so good at making a table look really special), love notes in our lunches, and heart shaped pancakes for breakfast!
I get excited about Valentines Day now when I try to plan a fun dinner for the kids or think of special ways to tell them how much I love them.
We'll have our family Love Fest on Thursday night and then John and I will go out and celebrate Friday night.
I remember things like the table decorations (my mom is so good at making a table look really special), love notes in our lunches, and heart shaped pancakes for breakfast!
I get excited about Valentines Day now when I try to plan a fun dinner for the kids or think of special ways to tell them how much I love them.
We'll have our family Love Fest on Thursday night and then John and I will go out and celebrate Friday night.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I'm Praying for This Little One Today
This is Gwenyth. Her mommy's name is Tricia. They both need our prayers.
Gwenyth's daddy Nathan is holding her in this picture.
You can visit their blog to learn more but basically Gwenyth was born 15 weeks early because her momma has Cystic Fybrosis. She weighed 1 lb 6 oz. I'm pretty sure she's at 1 lbs 10 oz as of this week. Though the medical professionals encouraged Tricia and Nathan to abort, the chose life for Gwenyth. Please pray for this family today. Tricia needs a lung transplant. Gwenyth needs to grow and stay free from infection.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Weekend Recap
Sometimes I do things that are somewhat insane just because the creative urge in me just can't be held back. This weekend was one of them. John was out of town, and I decided to tackle a painting project, the boy's bedroom. Their room is an "attic space" bedroom, meaning the ceiling has three surfaces, one flat and two side slanted surfaces. I won't explain what I did, but I'll tell you this I decided four colors were necessary and I went to town. I started Friday night with the ceiling, Saturday I painted two other ceiling sections and the one of the side walls, and Sunday afternoon I did the trim and the remaining three walls.
In the midst of it Isabelle started running a fever (Sunday), and announced to everyone that if we had any idea what she felt like we would all cry!
Other things to note:
1. This is the first time I have done a painting project with a baby and no husband home. I don't recommend this. At one point, I finished changing Elia and picked her up to set her down to play and she had my "brown" hand prints on her arms. Nice!
2. Painting for three days leaves one feeling rather crummy. I ache from head to toe.
Other things I did this weekend:
1. Friday early evening- coffee date with an awesome friend. Great conversation and good for my heart.
2. Saturday evening- Adoption fundraiser for the Coopers! Great turn out and a really fun time. Nick was my date!
3. Sunday morning- CEC morning service, I started teaching a series on the Sermon on the Mount. I'm writing as I go and very excited about it.
Remodel pics coming soon. I have some more trim to finish. I hate trim.
In the midst of it Isabelle started running a fever (Sunday), and announced to everyone that if we had any idea what she felt like we would all cry!
Other things to note:
1. This is the first time I have done a painting project with a baby and no husband home. I don't recommend this. At one point, I finished changing Elia and picked her up to set her down to play and she had my "brown" hand prints on her arms. Nice!
2. Painting for three days leaves one feeling rather crummy. I ache from head to toe.
Other things I did this weekend:
1. Friday early evening- coffee date with an awesome friend. Great conversation and good for my heart.
2. Saturday evening- Adoption fundraiser for the Coopers! Great turn out and a really fun time. Nick was my date!
3. Sunday morning- CEC morning service, I started teaching a series on the Sermon on the Mount. I'm writing as I go and very excited about it.
Remodel pics coming soon. I have some more trim to finish. I hate trim.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
9 x 12 Baking Dish Anyone?
My wonderful babysitters left their baking dish here again. I think deep down they just want to have a reason to come back!
If you want a recap on the babysitting adventure, check Isabelle's blog!
I'll fill you in on my weekend later on!
If you want a recap on the babysitting adventure, check Isabelle's blog!
I'll fill you in on my weekend later on!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Baby Stages
Elia began sleeping through the night when she was 2 months old. I know, I'm blessed, please don't be jealous! Then she hit 9 months and decided she didn't like going to sleep when the world was still HAVING FUN!!! She turned into a party girl, if there was family awake, she wanted to be AWAKE! Even when we went to sleep she wasn't ready to give up! She cried herself to sleep night after night for almost 2 months. Nap times were no better, if not WORSE because the world was definitely having more fun than she was!
Miraculously, she has passed this stage and now is going back down to sleep like a good little girl without tears and loud screaming!
A new stage is upon us. In the past few days, she has learned to emit a loud VERY HIGH pitched squeal to communicate almost all of her needs! It makes my ear drums vibrate. Her biggest brother gave her a lecture about it today and said, "I'm not kidding Elia, you need to stop it." She did not listen. I am anxiously awaiting the day that this stage ends!
Miraculously, she has passed this stage and now is going back down to sleep like a good little girl without tears and loud screaming!
A new stage is upon us. In the past few days, she has learned to emit a loud VERY HIGH pitched squeal to communicate almost all of her needs! It makes my ear drums vibrate. Her biggest brother gave her a lecture about it today and said, "I'm not kidding Elia, you need to stop it." She did not listen. I am anxiously awaiting the day that this stage ends!
John's Traveling This Weekend
John left at 5AM and headed out with team to the Cincinnati House of Prayer.
Please pray for save travels and a great time of ministry at C-HOP.
And if you're in Cincy! Stop by C-HOP this weekend!
Please pray for save travels and a great time of ministry at C-HOP.
And if you're in Cincy! Stop by C-HOP this weekend!
Thursday, February 07, 2008
Please Pray for This Dear Family
The Lord connect our hearts in strange ways some times and THIS FAMILY has become one that I pray for daily.
They have been pursuing adoption of two beautiful girls from Haiti for some time and today got news that they will not be able to bring the girls home. It is heart breaking. Please pray for them and pray for the girls.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
SNOW DAY!
It's 9am on a SNOW DAY! Elia is the only one up. Do you remember what it was like to "wake up late" and realize that you had stumbled upon a snow day? I'm looking forward to the little smiles on my kids faces when they walk down the stairs this morning and see me still in my PJ's with my second cup of coffee.
I will say this, what Missouri calls a Snow Day would be business as usual in Pennsylvania, but I'm not complaining!
I will say this, what Missouri calls a Snow Day would be business as usual in Pennsylvania, but I'm not complaining!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Our Story: Part Five
We started the Intro to IHOP internship in the fall of 2007. I wasn't blogging at the time so it's strange to think back to what it was like to land here in Kansas City.
I remember thinking occasionally, "Why did you send us here God? There are so many people here doing this, why do you need to have us here?" John and I both wrestled with the issue of being "unknown" in a place of many "well-knowns." It was a good exercise for the heart in the area of meekness.
I remember early on meeting Matt and Dana Candler and having dinner in their home. They were so genuinely caring and wanted to really know how we were doing. They assured us that we were needed here, and that before we knew it we would feel like we had always been here. They were so kind. They soaked our family in prayer and listened. They still listen.
I remember looking at people that I saw as leaders and thinking, "They have it all together and I'm a broken mess." I now know that there is not one person here that will tell you they have it all together. They will all tell you they lean hard on Jesus every day.
I remember wondering, "Where will I ever fit in here?" I remember feeling the awkwardness of the first few months of just "being" and learning and not "doing." Serving the Lord can often be a great big cover up for relationship with Him. It was not an easy thing for me- the "not doing", especially because I really didn't perceive there to be an actual need for me to be here anyway. Everyone else seemed to be doing a fine job without me.
I know that's so shallow and so NOT the walk of humility that I long for, but is the reality of where I was. It's the sad condition of the heart when what you do for God is taken away and you feel strangely uncomfortable just "being" with Him.
We sat through hours of teaching by amazing teachers like Allen Hood, Corey Russell, Dave Sliker, Dale Anderson, the list goes on. I absorbed as much as my little brain could handle. In the midst of hours and hours of classes and much time in the Prayer Room, I did my best to home school the kids (stripping it down to just the basics of Language Arts and Math- because they were in the Children's Tracks that accompanied our internship).
That leads me to those first few months with our kids here. Regardless of how immature and awkward, and dark my heart was at times, I held fast to the ever increasing reality that we really really really moved here for our kids. We had no idea the impact that it would have on their lives. I'll save that for another post though.
So here I was in a sea of wonderful people loving and serving Jesus together, and honestly, I felt lost and alone. It wasn't about them. It was about the truth of what was on the inside of me. And month after month, the Lord poured into my heart and began the process of restoring me and making me whole. In the midst of it, I couldn't even see it. I tell those of you out there who sit in the Prayer Room hour after hour feeling nothing, but are still obeying what God has called you to do... it does matter. Your heart is being changed though you may not see it, may not feel it. One day you will look back on the journey and realize that a shift has taken place.
I still have days in the PR where I don't connect. I usually just pray in the spirit then. My human ability to pray is weak at best. But He loves my heart, He knows my desire to obey, and He has grace for my weakness.
I remember thinking occasionally, "Why did you send us here God? There are so many people here doing this, why do you need to have us here?" John and I both wrestled with the issue of being "unknown" in a place of many "well-knowns." It was a good exercise for the heart in the area of meekness.
I remember early on meeting Matt and Dana Candler and having dinner in their home. They were so genuinely caring and wanted to really know how we were doing. They assured us that we were needed here, and that before we knew it we would feel like we had always been here. They were so kind. They soaked our family in prayer and listened. They still listen.
I remember looking at people that I saw as leaders and thinking, "They have it all together and I'm a broken mess." I now know that there is not one person here that will tell you they have it all together. They will all tell you they lean hard on Jesus every day.
I remember wondering, "Where will I ever fit in here?" I remember feeling the awkwardness of the first few months of just "being" and learning and not "doing." Serving the Lord can often be a great big cover up for relationship with Him. It was not an easy thing for me- the "not doing", especially because I really didn't perceive there to be an actual need for me to be here anyway. Everyone else seemed to be doing a fine job without me.
I know that's so shallow and so NOT the walk of humility that I long for, but is the reality of where I was. It's the sad condition of the heart when what you do for God is taken away and you feel strangely uncomfortable just "being" with Him.
We sat through hours of teaching by amazing teachers like Allen Hood, Corey Russell, Dave Sliker, Dale Anderson, the list goes on. I absorbed as much as my little brain could handle. In the midst of hours and hours of classes and much time in the Prayer Room, I did my best to home school the kids (stripping it down to just the basics of Language Arts and Math- because they were in the Children's Tracks that accompanied our internship).
That leads me to those first few months with our kids here. Regardless of how immature and awkward, and dark my heart was at times, I held fast to the ever increasing reality that we really really really moved here for our kids. We had no idea the impact that it would have on their lives. I'll save that for another post though.
So here I was in a sea of wonderful people loving and serving Jesus together, and honestly, I felt lost and alone. It wasn't about them. It was about the truth of what was on the inside of me. And month after month, the Lord poured into my heart and began the process of restoring me and making me whole. In the midst of it, I couldn't even see it. I tell those of you out there who sit in the Prayer Room hour after hour feeling nothing, but are still obeying what God has called you to do... it does matter. Your heart is being changed though you may not see it, may not feel it. One day you will look back on the journey and realize that a shift has taken place.
I still have days in the PR where I don't connect. I usually just pray in the spirit then. My human ability to pray is weak at best. But He loves my heart, He knows my desire to obey, and He has grace for my weakness.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Perfect by John Loux
Many of you know John as the electric guitar player at IHOP that plays way too many sets. (I'm just saying he got himself in big trouble last week by playing 14 sets in the Prayer Room- that totals 28 hours of playing in 6 days folks!- the boy was hurtin' let me tell you and in a heap of trouble with THE WIFE!)
HOWEVER, how many of you have heard the boy sing? (Those of you from PA know John as a worship leader, but here in KC he's been playing electric guitar and most people don't even know the boy can SING!)
For a taste of his singing/songwriting CLICK HERE!
Now let's all try to convince him to take some time off and finish the album he's been working on! One song on a compilation is just not enough!
HOWEVER, how many of you have heard the boy sing? (Those of you from PA know John as a worship leader, but here in KC he's been playing electric guitar and most people don't even know the boy can SING!)
For a taste of his singing/songwriting CLICK HERE!
Now let's all try to convince him to take some time off and finish the album he's been working on! One song on a compilation is just not enough!
Oops, Taylor Just Showed Me These Too!!!
He's so cool, don't you think!!!????
Anyone need a graphic designer? Keep him in mind!
Portraits By Taylor
Here is some of Taylor's Photography. The kid has a great eye!
Nick
Elia Jane
Isabelle
Nick
Elia Jane
Isabelle
Nick's Homework
Nick is taking photography for his Fine Arts credit this semester. I made him drop my Art class to take it!
Here's his first homework assignment (Self Portrait)
Here's his first homework assignment (Self Portrait)
Saturday, February 02, 2008
Watching the Call Orlando
The Call Orlando is being broadcast life on God.TV today. Just click on "Watch God TV now"
I've been to two Call events this year and it doesn't matter how many times I hear the message, my heart is moved and my spirit is provoked.
"It's time to plead the blood of Jesus and repent on behalf of our nation." - Lou Engle
Standing on the stage now is a woman who leads a group of Florida women who have had abortions. They are working to gather 1 million declarations from women who have had abortions to present to the supreme court. (www.operationoutcry.org)
Lou is praying for these women that "Their greatest pain would become their greatest prophecy."
I've been to two Call events this year and it doesn't matter how many times I hear the message, my heart is moved and my spirit is provoked.
"It's time to plead the blood of Jesus and repent on behalf of our nation." - Lou Engle
Standing on the stage now is a woman who leads a group of Florida women who have had abortions. They are working to gather 1 million declarations from women who have had abortions to present to the supreme court. (www.operationoutcry.org)
Lou is praying for these women that "Their greatest pain would become their greatest prophecy."
Friday, February 01, 2008
Delight!
Elia got to visit the stable where our friend Shelley is boarding her horse while here in KC. She was absolutely delighted by Maggie Sue and kept making these lovely little squeals of delight! Maggie Sue was so gentle and kind to receive Elia's love!
Photos by big brother Nick (who is currently taking a photography class from Shelley!)
More pictures of Maggie Sue with the kids in the months to come I'm sure!
Isabelle is so happy! Maggie Sue lives just minutes from our house and we say good morning to her every day on the way to school.
Photos by big brother Nick (who is currently taking a photography class from Shelley!)
More pictures of Maggie Sue with the kids in the months to come I'm sure!
Isabelle is so happy! Maggie Sue lives just minutes from our house and we say good morning to her every day on the way to school.
Spaghetti Anyone?
It's way more fun to feed yourself than to be fed!
I finally figured out this straw thing!
Elia (after her bath) has fun with Tracy Paulson. She really likes this guy!
We like him too!
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