Dried Bananas and Intercession

Today I woke up knowing I could not possible make it to the prayer room. Although I have what we call here at IHOP a "Sacred Trust", which is a written commitment between God and me regarding my schedule, I am a mom. I'm afraid too many times in my life, I have equated what I do in ministry as a measure of my love for God. The Lord is shaking me up a bit on this.

This morning I woke up and said to John, "I am not going to the Prayer Room today, and I know that Jesus will still love me." I said it and wondered why I even needed to say that out loud. I think I am in the process of convincing myself.

My life has been altered in the last year by the entry of the most beautiful little girl in the world. There are things that I used to do without thinking, that I now have to process through the filter of "momma of a wee girl." I love her, I love being her mother, I love that she runs to me with open arms and giggles when she lands against my chest. Every day for the rest of my life I will be grateful that she is my daughter.

Today instead of feeling like a failure for not being able to do it all. I dropped the older kids at school and came home. The whole way home I had to talk to myself and tell myself that it was alright. When we got home my wee girl and I put on the webstream, she ate Cherrios and pitter pattered around the house, while I picked up the remains of the latest hurricane that has swept through my house. I put her in her chair, while I washed dishes and let her bang away with her favorite kitchen "toys." I mopped the floor while consistently repeating "yucky" every time she tried to play in the dirty water bucket.

And I prayed.

I scrubbed dried bananas of my floor and thanked the Lord for my children, prayed for my husband, asked for grace and strength for a dear friend who is walking into an incredibly awesome, yet difficult and sacrificial season in her life.... disinfected my daughter's hands after she sneaked by me and into the dirty water bucked and prayed some more. I asked the Lord to change and soften my heart. I asked Him to speak to me in the mundane. I asked Him to receive my weak offering poured out from a heart full of love.

I felt the Lord's presence as I mopped my nasty kitchen floor. I felt His pleasure and His approval. None of my prayers were grand, but all of them were from the depths of my heart.